Cryin'

Dear Asberger;

I just want you to know that, just because I cry every time I speak to you doesn't mean I cry all the time these days, like I used to while we were together. Really, if you could see me in life you would probably not even know me, and you might go around asking people, "Who is this new girl Emily who hardly ever cries? I don't think I've met her before." In fact, not being on birth control, and not being with you, I almost never cry at all; except when I talk to you or talk about you or write about you on my website (also occasionally after I have orgasms, but nothing like the hysterical weeping I was doing towards the end there with us when I would sob frantically while trying to draw you closer to me with all of my might).

Anyhow I know all my crying freaks you out; maybe it makes you feel guilty, but I have to say I do love talking to you and sharing Jokes in the Olden Style, even though I can only stand it for a few minutes at a time. And when we go to hang up and everything gets really awkward and you always do that thing where you sound like you're retarded*, almost all of what you're hearing (I'm telling you in case you're not able to recognize it) is laughter through my tears. 

I'm glad we're going to (I think) be able to be friends, after all.

Love,

Emma

*No offense to retarded people, as they say.