Wherein I Finally Get Around to Writing About the Rest of My Trip, Mainly to Shame Myself by Mentioning How Embarrassingly Sick I Got

And then...

• It became Friday night! We assembled, with the addition of a rather acerbic fellow I'll refer to as Bill (I was going to call him "Bile," but I'm thinking just "Bill" is a bit nicer), and, because I have a motto dictating that one should Never Arrive Entirely Sober and Sparky's motto is something more like Never Be Entirely Sober At All If You Can Help It, we got a little bit ready to go out at Date Guy's house, and then out we went!
• My three dates took me to a bar where everything was upholstered red and sexy. We took the (red-carpeted) elevator upstairs, which eliminated the whole pass-the-bouncers-get-your-ID-checked-pay-a-cover thing (do you have to pay a cover in California? Who knows? We didn't.), and rather enhanced our flair. The elevator doors opened, we strode out, and it was all happening for us; people were smiling, (red-upholstered) lounge seating was just offered right up, when the place was super crowded and no one should have been able to get a seat, Sparky and Date Guy barely had to jostle for a place at the (illuminated red) bar to procure drinks, while-
• Bill and I got to know each other across the table. It was an unusual conversation in that the topics that most enthused Bill were: Being All Alone in the World, Having No Family or Friends to Speak Of, and Dying Alone- Utterly, Utterly Alone. Yet at the time I found him quite enjoyable! Me and Bill: Best New Pals in Loneliness! Whatever! I was wasted!
• The boys came back with drinks, and then our server appeared. She had short red hair, she had a short red skirt, she had three fine metal circles going down her back in lieu of a complete shirt and she had a pair six-inch diameter thighs hugged in tall black stockings. She had all four of us from the moment we laid eyes on her. She said her name was Austen, after Prefontaine's grandmother or fiance or somebody, and we said let's take Austen along with us everywhere we go. Austen had money piling up on her tip tray in unholy volumes to ensure that she'd be coming back to our table again and again and again. She brought us drinks, she brought us olives, she stopped by just to say hello and probably made about fifty bucks for the effort, she gave us chocolate souffle and some girl came along asking for a bite of it and we gave her a bite and her eyes rolled back in her head cause it was sooo good and we LAUGHED! O the merriment! Have a bite of souffle how delicious of you! Have you seen our waitress? Ho ho here's some money! Give us a bite of your ha ha ha ha ha!
• Austen brought us many waters and then the bar closed and we stumbled out into the night and did not wind up taking her after all.
• We wound up at Sparky's studio where Date Guy performed some mysterious ramblings around in the yard while I put on some hit bossa nova selections and danced with Bill (who is probably better at dancing alone) and Date Guy was still away in the yard so I drank some whiskey and after Date Guy came in for a moment but went back out again (still mysteriously) I danced with Sparky for what seemed like a very long time and then at last came Date Guy really, at which point my memory gets all muddled and I have very little idea of what happened next so suffice it to say sometime somehow we arrived home again.* I'm sure of this because that is where-
• I spent the entirety of the next day vomiting.
• Except for a few episodes of fitful sleeping or laying there quietly moaning into my pillow.
• But you know what? Every time I opened my eyes (or just my one eye, usually), there was Date Guy fretting over me and saying "Sorry we broke you." He didn't leave my side the whole day. That was very nice of him.
• We had been fabulous enough. Once I recovered we spent the rest of my visit in a quieter, more intimate way. We did activities such as Just Hanging Around the House Together and were so relaxed about that and each other that I'd get a little shock from time to time realizing I have known this man for no more than two Hair Phases, which is practically no time at all, yet here we are so relationship-y, and wondering how that came to happen.
• I haven't figured out how yet.
• Per my request to "save something to do in your house so I can leave my mark on it," we shopped for some gear for Date Guy's home; and we went to the movies and out to eat, took a few walks, and drove around the gorgeous forested California hills and had a generally lovely time together, all the while with me thinking, "Wow! I could totally live here!"
• Not that that's in the works, so don't go getting any ideas...

The end.

• Oh yeah- then I came home, and it was hotter here than in California, and I wished to go back immediately.

The end. Really.

* I assume Bill also made it home- utterly, utterly alone.

Comments

[MonoCerdo]

Bravo for a fantastic ending to your Fantastic Voyage!

Next time, why don't you come be fabulous here in Chicago? Date Guy can come too! And Bill. If he's not too busy being alone.