Exploring My Talent

Needless to say, I ignored the girl who wrote me on Facebook that, "I am trying to friend as many Emma's as possible we are the coolest! Ad me :)."

I'm depressed that I even know about this, but who in the hell is Miracle Whup trying to reach with its we will not tone it down ad campaign? Does Kraft really think it's money well spent to try to sell me on "hardcore Miracle Whip attitude and revelry?" Also why does all the media coverage describe the campaign as "for hipsters?" It so doesn't even begin to be ironic enough for the Bacon Generation. Asserting that "snarfing sandwiches" will be "very cool and totally hip" is not hip. The terms "in your face" and "massively dope" are not hip. Miracle Whup is not hip, it's oil and corn syrup. Fuck you.

Well, at least there's this:

I once fell from a train into a marching band unloading from a road trip---I think that means something and I want to honor that experience.