I will tell you about my trip to visit Date Guy!
- I flew to California on Thursday with our (Date Guy's first, now mine, too) friend Sparky, who makes the trip all the time and whisked me through the airport without my having to so much as glance at a gate number. No matter how many times I fly, it's still novel and a bit overwhelming to me, but I couldn't believe how many people on our plane seemed like routine commuter-flier types. Just hop a quick flight! So easy! So breezy! One way in the morning, then head back in the night!
- We got off the plane and immediately went shopping! I'm not a big shopper, but it's a fun game to play with Sparky and Date Guy; they're fast and impulsive and whiz through the store calling out glib appraisal of this and that. Lame items receive no recognition; they are not merely dismissed, but looked over entirely as though they weren't there at all. Fabulous things are awarded varying degrees of homosexuality, as in "That linen shirt is pretty gay, I mean it looks good on you, but if you're only going to go with one thing in this store the tobacco pinstripe suit is just QUEER." This was when I got my first clue that this would be a Consumer Vacation.
- Sparky drove on the trip from the airport (via Nordstrom Rack) so Date Guy and I could sit in the back and hold hands. I kept noticing what I always notice when I go to California: the state IS it's own stereotype. California is so very Californian, which I find both hilarious and charming.
- We got into town and went directly to dine at this really nice wine bar. Our server was knowledgeable and gracious and actually loved her job, the owner was chatting up folks from behind the bar, Date Guy and Sparky were well-acquainted with the place (and it with them) and with barely perceptible nods and pinky waves they and the server would murmur a quick word of accord and delights of food and drink would appear before us; charcuterie and scallops and salmon and gnocchi and I had the duck and fava beans. As to the wines, all I can remember is mmm. There was a pink and a white and a red and another red and I have no idea what any of them were, though I may have known at some point before I started in on my third glass and quit trying to remember things. The meal and the service (and the architecture, while we're at it) and the subtle classy way my two dates attended to everything for me were all amazing, and what's more, the vine art high on the wall looked as though it spelled TITS! Spectacular! I was so romanced I didn't think I could get Date Guy home fast enough, but, suffice it to say, we managed.
- On Friday he and I went to the ocean. The (cold!) water was full of people and we watched the surfers, walked along the shore where I got to check out some of these (you can learn more about them here, but I like Stewf's photo best, and it's the way I witnessed them) and appreciated the water safety signs exclaiming, "can badly injure you!" and some strange graffiti scrawled on the rock face including a message of hope and guidance that is going on the front of one homemade t-shirt immediately that read: WE ARE ALL ONE MAURICE.
- We visited the tiny surf museum located right at the break and learned more than I ever knew I wanted to know about the history of surfing in California. While we were there a couple of older touristy-looking men came in and, watching a black and white circa-1950 film of wetsuitless pioneer surfers riding the famous break below, began saying things like, "Oh there's Ricky on the new board we had just made," and, "That's me dropping in late on that wave." Fully gnarly, bro.
- All this was interspersed with much kissing on the part of me and Date Guy and looking into each other's eyes and so forth and it was sunny and gusty and beautiful and I (exclaiming, "California, it's so- Californian!") felt very happy.
- Later on Date Guy and Sparky did a little surfing themselves and I watched from the clifftop and learned a bit of quirky local history from an old man with a brown sweater and long hair and a telescope. I had been intimidated by the size of the break we'd been watching earlier and opted out of getting wet myself, but after seeing that we'd be dealing with the kiddie end of the pool (and learning that wetsuits make you float! Who knew?) I thought "I will totally do this next time," and you can hold me to it because I WILL.
I finish up telling about it here.