Isaiah is ten years old and is completing a portion of his schooling for the year at Youth Brigade, the tutoring center where I work. The following are sentences he composed for a vocabulary assignment he completed this week as homework for his tutor, Tommy:
Isaiah was watching Tommy farting attentively.
Tommy farted and Isaiah said it was almost palpable.
Isaiah pooped and Tommy was distraught because it was the size of Tommy.
Isaiah had to fart so bad for a year and he was so apprehensive; then when he farted it blew a hole through the earth.
Isaiah pooped on a salsa dancer and it was a transgression.
Isaiah said, "Fart," as he farted, so it was unison.
Tommy farted and Isaiah was fascinated.
Fascinated. No doubt!
My first assignment as a reporter was to interview a professor.
Posted by: wireless router reviews | December 13, 2011 at 10:24 PM
That made me laugh out loud, or LOL as you young people say.
Posted by: Annie | July 20, 2008 at 03:02 AM
"Isaiah pooped and Tommy was distraught because it was the size of Tommy."
That's my favorite. It reminds me of an episode of South Park, where Stan's dad was in competition with Bono for who could make the biggest poo. I'm serious! They were measuring the poos in kuricks and everything! The episode is called More Crap from South Park season 11.
Posted by: Jackie | July 19, 2008 at 05:29 PM
that just made me laugh until i snorted.
Posted by: kimblahg | February 10, 2007 at 01:42 AM
Hi, I got here by way of Mimi S... Those are hilarious! I just emailed the link to every teacher-friend I have.
Posted by: shoppista | February 09, 2007 at 02:00 AM
This will amuse my 11 year old. It also made her mother laugh hysterically. "Poop" and "fart" just never ever get old as amusement fodder, do they! On a salsa dancer, yet.
Posted by: Jaime | February 08, 2007 at 01:59 PM
it blew a hole through the earth!
great visual on this one; thanks for the out-loud laugh.
Posted by: sasha | February 07, 2007 at 02:49 PM
Greatest use of transgression. Ever.
Posted by: jrn | October 24, 2006 at 02:08 PM
Palpable? "...and Isaiah said it was almost palbable"? Well, that settles it. I was a moron when I was ten.
Posted by: kerrianne | October 20, 2006 at 07:39 PM
This made me so happy I almost farted. On a salsa dancer. Which would have been a transgression.
Posted by: MonoCerdo | October 20, 2006 at 07:09 PM
on a salsa dancer?
Posted by: e | October 19, 2006 at 09:44 PM
You should have seen my little brother petting the rats at the zoo! "lil' mus'rat, lil' mus'rat... cute as your butt!"
Posted by: Slag Dump | October 19, 2006 at 06:58 PM
You should have seen my little brother petting the rats at the zoo! "lil' mus'rat, lil' mus'rat... cute as your butt!"
Posted by: Slag Dump | October 19, 2006 at 06:58 PM
That reminds me of our vast vocabulary selection when we were 13 and living among the trees... JILL FARTED!!!
GT's
Posted by: Sare-Bare | October 19, 2006 at 02:25 PM