Lucy's Spleen

x365 #5: Tragicomic Sorrowful Drunk

I never knew you were my neighbor until I heard a loud crash, followed by wailing through my open window on a hot Kansas night. All night. It was like a song; like a chant, peppered with further crashes, pounding of fists and stamping of feet for percussive effect at key points of emphasis. My Mormon self was very disturbed, but the pre-post-Mormon self I was already nurturing understood you somehow. I'm sure you don't remember what you said that night, but I'll never be able to forget. It was this:

I don't want to live like this no more.
I don't want to live like this no more.
I don't want to LIVE like this no more.
I don't want to live like this no more.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry...

I don't want to live like this no more.
I don't want to live like THIS no more.

. . .

I don't want to live like this no more!
I don't want to live like this no more!
I want my FAMILY!
I want my WIFE!
I want everything!
I want my LIFE!

I don't want to live like this no more.
Idon'twanttolivelikethisnomoreIdon'twanttolivelikethisnomore.

I'm sorry I'm sorry.

I'm SORRY I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry...

. . .

I don't want to live like this no more.
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS NO MORE!

I.
DON'T.
WANT.
TO.
LIVE.
LIKE.
THIS.
NO.
MORE!

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry.

I don't want to live like this no more.
I don't want to live like this no more...

The next morning I saw you come out your front door and cross the street straight into the liquor store. I never begrudged you that. It was too artistic to be held against you.

I suppose a lot of people will find this tale tragic, but my vote's for it being a comedy. Maybe a tragicomedy.

x365 #4: Ruth Weller

The first day we met you gave me one of the warmest, most honest hugs I've ever received in my life. and every day after that you hugged me with the same sincerity, right up until the day you died just three months later. I recall that you laughed all the time and meant it. And you hugged everyone like that, especially the people who really needed it. One of the first grievous insults to my faith was the discovery that the might of your compassion wasn't able to hold out in the face of colon cancer.

I am a participant in NaBloPoMo and x365.

x 365, #3: Dr. Radcliffe

I've always associated you with my earliest understanding of Jewish people, as in: that they existed. I had a vague awareness of Woody Allen in my youth. From seeing his movies on TV sometimes I knew he lived in New York City and that you had the same accent as he had. Thus, although I did not actively realize then that Allen was Jewish, somehow I concluded that you were. In retrospect, I am fairly certain now that you were not at all Jewish. What's more, I think you may have been from California.

I am a participant in NaBloPoMo. I am also a participant in x365, sort of.

x365 #2: Loreal "Blush Delice" Sheer Powder Blush: "Framboise Glacee"

Just look at you.

What have you got left to be proud of? You've hit the tiles of my bathroom floor so many times that there remain a mere four pebbles of sheer blendable shimmering powder in your compact. Still I persist in rubbing the little brush around on those last pathetic grains and swiping it across my cheeks each morning in a deceptive attempt at looking youthful and well-rested.

You're not even the right shade for me you know. You just happen to be the least wrong-colored blush I own.

I am a participant in NaBloPoMo and an unorthodox participant in x365.

x365 #1: Jamie P.

In the second and fourth grades you tried to buy my friendship with gifts of scented erasers and sparkly pencils. After that I was aware of you only peripherally until the day in seventh grade when you announced that you were going to beat me up by the bus stop after school. The threat seemed totally out of the blue to me at the time, but I was very prim then and suffered a particular brand of shyness born of hormones, religiosity, and an artistic temperament. I can see how you must have thought I was a total bitch.

I am a participant in NaBloPoMo.

I also hereby announce my participation in x365, only with my own spin. I won't post for the x365 project daily, nor will I impose a word limit. Frankly I'll be astounded if I make it to 100 x365 posts, but let's see how it goes, shall we?

This is why I don't even bother

I just stayed up for an extra hour writing a painstakingly composed post meant to be my entree into both NaBloPoMo 2007 (freshly motived despite having abandoned ship within less than a week last year) and to the x365. Then my connection refreshed and I lost the whole aitching thing so consider this my fucking fabulous first effort.

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